Friday, March 9, 2012

More About Aaron

After our park outing, I was way too curious to not pester Aaron with questions. Yesterday I had tutoring so it was the perfect chance. After we did some math I asked about the guy at the park.
"Yeah, I know him," Aaron said.
"How?" I asked.
He shrugged and so I had to carefully pressure him. He can shut down pretty easily if he feels attacked. I went through a couple different options of how they might know each other until Aaron agreed to one. Yes, he had tutored the younger guy, but he wouldn't say anymore.

A few math problems later, I asked Aaron where he had grown up at.
"Wisconsin," he said. "But I wouldn't call it growing up so much as being tortured." He very briefly told me that his step-father had been abusive and he had run away at sixteen. I wished I could have let him stop there, especially after what I learned today, but I kept pressing.
"Where did you go after you ran away?" I asked.
"For how long?"
Aaron shrugged. "Awhile."
"How did you get to Montana?"
Another shrug.
I tried to prompt him. There was a twelve year gap between when he ran away and I met him. I wanted to know his story. But he shut me out and said we were done for the day.

This morning Sean dropped Riley off at my house and I heard him talking to Mother that Aaron had gotten himself incredibly drunk and was in the process of destroying his room. He hadn't wanted Riley to know. I couldn't tell Riley either because she was all excited about a surprise her dad promised her for Easter. She is certain it's a new pet.

Right now she's watching a movie with Nellie and Kit. I want to talk to her since she knows Aaron, too, but I don't want to tell her I'm the reason Aaron got himself drunk. It would be nice to meet someone simple without as much drama as my own family has. I hope he gives me a chance to tell him about my own family. I think if he knows that I know what it's like to live in an abusive family, he'll be happier. Ones of these days I might be able to post something lighter! I hope I don't depress everyone.


  1. Hi Emily, this is Bree.

    I'm sorry to hear Aaron is having a tough time. But Emily, you didn't cause it. It sounds like he's buried this stuff for a long time, so he hasn't really dealt with it. At some point, he's going to have to.

    You aren't the reason he got drunk and started wrecking stuff. The person who abused him is the reason. You shouldn't blame yourself for this.

    Maybe this is what Aaron needs. He's not dealing with it in the best way - but at least he's starting to deal with it.

    I think it's a good idea for you to talk to him and make sure he knows you understand. Maybe that'll help him feel like he can talk instead of using alcohol.

    Thanks for keeping us posted! I hope Aaron feels better soon.


  2. Bree,

    I guess you're right, it's not really my fault, but I still feel a little bad since I kept pestering him even though I knew he didn't like it.

    I hope he'll open up to me more and understand that he isn't alone. I just have to gush that I'm so glad I have friends like your family!


  3. Bonsoir Emily,
    Oh, please don't blame yourself for his behavior! I don't usually say things about my past, but I almost tore apart my family, and my family members were blaming themselves for my actions. They didn't make me this way...I don't even know why I am like I am. My brother doesn't even talk to me anymore.
    I would just let him know that you are there if he needs to talk.


  4. Bree again.

    *hugs Emily*

    We're glad to have you for a friend, too! Hang in there.


    1. Emily,
      I asked my cousin Daphne (she's twelve) for any advice I can give you. She said that if you find the right time, you could try telling Aaron about the things your family has went through. That way, he won't think you're judging him, and your courage might inspire him to face his past! I hope things get better for you!