I learned some stuff about Alex last weekend. Since Casey works at the same hospital as Alex's dad, he knew a bit about the family. However I don't think I was supposed to hear any of it since the grown-ups were talking while us kids were supposed to be upstairs playing. But I was thirsty and came downstairs.
Alexandra Hayden Woods is 13 and lives in the city and goes to public school. She spent most of her childhood (from, like, 3 to 9) in foster homes. She got moved around a lot due to aggressive behavior and being unruly. She was adopted by the Woods family at 10 after being fostered by them for several months. The Woods have an older son who was also adopted.
Her early childhood situation sounded similar to my own. Her father was abusive and she was sent to live with her grandparents who were also unkind to her which is how she ended up in foster care. I'm not sure why she couldn't live with her biological mom, but I think she just got the short end of the stick since her mom had too many other children to care for.
Knowing all of that I went to karate on Friday ready to make the best of it. She was probably bullied a lot and her way of defense is to now be the one to bully first. I've seen her pick fights with some of the other girls, too, but I seem to be more "special" in her eyes.
The same rotten teacher was still there. JJ's dad couldn't stay, but JJ did. It was a typical class. Alex kicked me a few times and stole my water bottle. I told the teacher; he told me to "toughen up". Even though Alex still wants to chew me up it didn't hurt me as much. I can understand her and I could just as easily ended up like her. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do because she really shouldn't be hitting anyone even if it's not entirely her fault. And that teacher still needs to go. If not because of his attitude to me then because of his crude remarks to JJ's dad about his children.
On a sunnier note, the sun has been out for a few days! It's hot out and I think summer has finally arrived. Yay!
Hi Emily, this is Bree.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, some of the girls in our family have been foster kids. I was never in foster care, but my biological sister (Fiona) was. Fiona still sometimes acts out because of it.
I think it's normal to be angry that your family is dysfunctional or can't take care of you, especially if other kids in the family aren't in the same boat. (For instance, I was jealous when my mom only seemed to want Fiona - even though Fiona ended up in foster care anyway, go figure.) I can relate to that. I get really mad about it sometimes too, even though I turn it inward rather than outward.
That said... I wonder if Alex is getting counseling? If not, she really should be. She needs to start letting some of this go. I know it's easier said than done, but therapy helps.
I hope someone can be Alex's friend. I don't think you should risk your safety to do it, though! Be careful. Even though you know now why she's doing it, getting hit still hurts!
Love,
Bree
Bree,
ReplyDeleteYou are so kind! I thank you so much for helping me out. I think Alex might be getting counseling, but I'm not 100% sure. Her family seems like the kind that would get her help. Casey might know so I will ask him.
Thanks for reminding me to be careful! Sometimes I feel like I need to help everyone and forget about my own safety. You and your sisters have really helped me a lot in understanding Alex and myself. I never thought I would find someone who understood since dysfunction is not something many write about online. Thank you!
Emily
Bree again. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Emily. I feel the same way talking to you - I know you understand.
It's really tempting to just write our blog about the happy, nice stuff. And we really are happy, most of the time. I think it's important to deal with the hard stuff too, though. It's important to be real.
Thanks for sharing with us. Thanks for being real too. Me and my sisters always know that when we talk about this stuff, you'll get it.
Love,
Bree
By the way, that's not to say that I would expect every blogger to deal with the same hard stuff, or even the same level of hard stuff. Being real looks different for different people, and it depends on the situation. That's probably obvious, but just wanted to make sure. :-)
ReplyDelete-Bree Again
Bonsoir, Emily!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I want to say that I am glad you decided to post this. I hope to gather up the courage to post about Sandrine someday. I think that people have her all wrong or make false assumptions. I have went through a lot because of her...a lot that has shaped who I am today.
Some things, I agree, are harder to blog about. But, I think they are important to share.
I wish you and Alex the best of luck. I think that the best thing you can do right now is let Alex know that you are there if she needs to talk.
Bises et bonne chance,
Sabine